i just felt like posting this today.

"Dearest Mom,
I went to the support group even today and Mary suggested I write to you even though you won't be able to read it. She said it might make me feel closer to you and there might be things I wished I could say to you.

I came to our house to write it and I'm sitting at the kitchen table. The house is going to be sold soon, but right now I can almost pretend that you're lying in your room, or you're out at work and I'm waiting for you to get back so you can tell me about the babies you delivered, or just give me a hug. The worst part about coming here was that I looked on the fridge door for a note from you, and there wasn't one. The door was white and empty. I cried for ages.

I miss you, Mom. I wish you were still here with us. I like living with Dad but I wish that you were still here. I don't understand why you had to be taken away from me, or why you got sick, or how you died so quickly when other women survive this all the time. How could it happen like this? How could you just leave? How you leave me? It's like I'm mad at you, Mom. How dumb is that?

(the letter goes on, but what touched me most was this part:)
...

I think i'll leave this letter for you here. In this empty kitchen. So you'll know if you come home that I love you and I miss you. Please don't worry about me.

Your daughter,
Claire"

excerpt from "Life on the Refrigerator Door", by Alice Kuipers

i just borrowed this and finished this in one shot.
the last part especially, it made me tear so much.

i think;
sometimes, we have to accept life as it goes.
Claire's mother contracted breast cancer. i read in seventeen that anyone could get breast cancer.

and that is so scary.

but,
life still goes on.